How To Become More Assertive

Some funny images about being aggressive

How Assertive Are You?

Take the quiz below

Benefitsof Assertiveness
Gain self-confidence and self-esteem
Understand and recognize your feelings
Earn respect from others
Improve communication
Create win-win situations
Improve your decision-making skills
Create honest relationships
Gain more job satisfaction

Four Styles of Communication

Passive

Emotional dishonest, indirect, inhibited, self-denying, blaming, apologetic

“Other’s rights and needs take precedence over mine”

Body language

Hunched, fiddling with fingers and/or things, nervous, wringing of hands, shrinking, leaning, head down, no eye contact, awkward facial gestures, limp hand shake, soft voice, hands touching face ie mouth, face, hair

Passive Aggressive

Emotionally dishonest, indirect, self-denying at first, self-enhancing at expense of others later

“I subtly make clear that my rights and needs prevail”

Aggressive

Inappropriately honest, direct, expressive, attacking, blaming, controlling, self-enhancing at expense of others

“I boldly insist that my rights and needs prevail”

Body language

Sharp, space-invading, frowning with disapproval, hands on hips, standing above, taking up more space when standing/sitting, speaking loudly, using hands for emphasis ie wide fingers, hands open

Assertive

Appropriately honest, direct, self-enhancing, expressive, self-confident, empathetic to emotions of all involved

“I clearly express that we both have rights and needs.”

Body language

Balanced, open gestures, head up, eye contact, smiling, firm hand shake, standing on same level, standing up straight, relaxed facial expressions

How to Become

Assertive

1. Know thy self---recognize when something makes you feel uncomfortable—know your limits---know you matter

2. Stand up for yourself---when something feels uncomfortable it’s your right to say something

3. Ask for a mentor

4. Communicate clearly

No weak words---but, so, maybe