How To Become More Assertive

Some funny images about being aggressive 






Benefitsof Assertiveness
Gain self-confidence and self-esteem
Understand and recognize your feelings
Earn respect from others
Improve communication
Create win-win situations
Improve your decision-making skills
Create honest relationships
Gain more job satisfaction
Emotional dishonest, indirect, inhibited, self-denying, blaming, apologetic
“Other’s rights and needs take precedence over mine”
Body language
Hunched, fiddling with fingers and/or things, nervous, wringing of hands, shrinking, leaning, head down, no eye contact, awkward facial gestures, limp hand shake, soft voice, hands   touching face ie mouth, face, hair 
Emotionally dishonest, indirect, self-denying at first, self-enhancing at expense of others later
“I subtly make clear that my rights and needs prevail”
Inappropriately honest, direct, expressive, attacking, blaming, controlling, self-enhancing at expense of others
“I boldly insist that my rights and needs prevail”
Body language
Sharp, space-invading, frowning with disapproval, hands on hips, standing above, taking up more space when standing/sitting, speaking loudly, using hands for emphasis ie wide fingers, hands open
Appropriately honest, direct, self-enhancing, expressive, self-confident, empathetic to emotions of all involved
“I clearly express that we both have rights and needs.”
Body language
Balanced, open gestures, head up, eye contact, smiling, firm hand shake, standing on same level, standing up straight, relaxed facial expressions
How to Become
Assertive
1. Know thy self---recognize when something makes you feel uncomfortable—know your limits---know you matter
2. Stand up for yourself---when something feels uncomfortable it’s your right to say something
3. Ask for a mentor
4. Communicate clearly
No weak words---but, so, maybe
Don’t apologize for your decisions
   Techniques—
   Broken record
   Say how you feel---- Use "I" Statements----I need, I feel…
   Ask for time to think about the request
   Rehearse what you want to say
Body language
What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let's see if you can recognize what type of behaviors are being exhibited in the following videos
A. 


B.

C. 


Answers: 
A. Passive and Aggressive Behavior
B. Assertive leadership
C. Passive Aggressive and Aggressive Behavior


 



Resources
https://karelchancounseling.org/2015/07/23/assertiveness-dos-and-donts-part-1/
http://www.frominsultstorespect.com/2014/03/23/is-it-wise-to-be-assertive/
https://appliedalliance.wordpress.com/2014/09/23/assertive-body-language/
https://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/a/assertiveness.asp
https://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/c/courageous.asp
http://www.compasstoolkit.ox.ac.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Assertiveness-Quiz-Tips-Individual-Activity.pdf
http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/assertive/art-20044644?pg=2
https://www.dreamstime.com/stock-illustration-behavior-types-different-kind-human-passive-passive-aggressive-aggressive-assertive-image61553265
https://newskillsacademy.co.uk/course/assertiveness-skills-certificate/

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